


Full Contact, No Holds Barred, Don't Touch The Face!

by Silvandar



Series: Multi Fandom Drabbles and One-shots [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awesome Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Recovering, F/M, Training, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, buckynat - Freeform, winterwidow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 23:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16397081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvandar/pseuds/Silvandar
Summary: Decided to make this a bit softer, more hurt!Bucky. Changed tags and rating accordingly.





	Full Contact, No Holds Barred, Don't Touch The Face!

**Author's Note:**

> Set in an imaginary future part of the MCU where everyone is alive and friends and happy and Bucky is working for SHIELD. Because that is my happy dream place and I will defend it with my last breath. Avengers 4 may kill me :*(  
> 

When James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes arrives at the gym alone, it always empties immediately. Every time it happens, he feels a tightness around his heart and an ache in his throat.  _They're all so afraid to be near me._ Cadets and agents alike move past him like salmon fighting upriver, desperate to get away from the looming presence of the brunette. 

When he's with Steve, or Sam, the members of SHIELD usually stay to watch, cheering on his challenger if he's sparring, or just watching the legends of the organisation work out. It wasn't until he arrived alone for the first time that he understood. 

He drops his gear next to the free weights, fishing out water, hand wraps, talc. He's developed a routine now that he's adjusted to his new prosthetic. Weights for an hour, then cardio to balance everything out, then up to two hours combat conditioning against the racks of punch bags and robotic sparring partners. 

Lifting is an interesting process, with this new arm. The Wakandan technology is really amazing: the arm can actually adjust its output to match or surpass his flesh arm, depending on his activities. It means he can do traditional barbell lifts and rows without worrying about accidentally pitching a set of weights through the ceiling. It helps his balance as well, he can work on his core at the same time. 

It's almost like being... normal. The empty gym seems to mock his thought process, reminding him that he's far from normal. 

 

He picks up her presence as he's starting on his sparring program. She enters the gym and pauses, her kit bag slung on her shoulder and her water bottle raised to her lips. Their eyes meet for a few seconds, and then she swigs and drops her gear beside his, starting to rack up her weights. 

Curiously, he watches her out of the corner of his eye as he unloads into his second punch bag of the day. He's never been alone with her before, at least not like this. She's relaxed, comfortable in her workout clothes, and not armed to the teeth... well, as far as he can tell. He wouldn't be surprised to learn there was a weapon somewhere on her. 

As he works his own program, he lets his mind wander through his memories of Natasha Romanov. Several attempts to try to kill her while under the influence of Hydra. Missions after the Infinity War that put them on the same team. Watching her fight with an eerie sense of familiarity that he just couldn't place. 

His rank gave him access to the top level personnel summaries, and it was there he discovered  _why_ she seemed familiar. She was a Black Widow, trained by the KGB. Of course, he'd known her SHIELD code name, but hadn't put it together with the program. He hadn't even known the program had continued into the modern age. 

Getting lost in memories is a risky business for the Winter Soldier, and he only ever does it when he's comfortable and knows he is safe to let his awareness slip. When he's inside his own mind, his movements are rhythmic and predictable, and his eyes become unfocused. She knows she would never have managed to approach him if he was fully "in the room". 

As she reaches the square of training carpet, he senses her and drags himself back to the here-and-now, gripping the punch bag into stillness and raising an eyebrow. He's not used to people talking to him at the best of times. 

She understands why, of course - she's felt his hands around her throat, she's been thrown into cars and walls by him. She knows how powerful and terrifying he is. 

 

As he senses her approaching he stills the bag and waits patiently for her to ask him to move, assuming she wants to use the equipment. He wonders if it would be presumptuous to offer to swap the bag for her - he's fairly sure she wouldn't be able to lift it down, and it's above her weight requirements for practice. Unsure of the protocol, he waits for her to speak. 

When she does, he thinks for a moment that he's accidentally got lost in his own head again and is experiencing some sort of episode. It wouldn't be the first time. 

"You're a lot more vulnerable than you think."

He stares at her, blinking slowly. 

"W... what?"

A toss of vermillion hair, and she scrunches her nose apologetically. "Sorry, that was a bit out of the blue. I've been watching you fight, watching you spar with Rogers. To see if I could beat you. I think I can."

His brain catches up with his ears, and he blinks again, then ducks his head unconsciously. It's an old habit, a way to break eye contact without seeming rude, something he learned as a child to cover moments of confusion or embarrassment. As he realises he's done it, he wonders why. Usually the only person who sees him that self conscious is Steve. 

"I'm sorry" he says, trying to stay on track inside his wandering thoughts. She's standing in front of him now and he's picking up on her scent - sweat, the supple leather of her training shoes, a faint hint of toothpaste, the rich, coconut scent of her hair. 

Once upon a time, Bucky Barnes thought he was a bit of a lothario, something of a catch. That Bucky has been asleep for seventy years, and not much has happened in the time since he broke free of Hydra to wake him.  The rest of Bucky Barnes has a view of himself that is mired in guilt and self hatred, and his only opinion of his body is to see it as a disfigured, scarred weapon. The thought of trying to touch a woman with his unclean hands makes his stomach turn with shame and despair.

It's Natasha Romanov standing in front of him, though. Her ledger is as red as his, if not worse. Her hands are just as unclean. Now, with her scent washing over him and her attention on him and him alone, he can feel old Bucky stirring in his sleep. 

She's raised an eyebrow at his reply, and he realises he's forgotten to finish the sentence. 

"I'm sorry for hurting you... before. I don't think I've ever said it out loud." To cover the moment, he pads to the side of the mat and grabs his water, taking a long drink without moving away too far, keeping his eyes on her. Showing that he's not pulling away or cutting her off, using body language and social skills that creak with rust. The tiles are cold under his bare feet, and he steps back onto the mat quickly. His whole body is cooling, and he realises he's going to need to start from scratch with his combat training if this conversation goes on much longer. 

"You did, actually. Three times."

"Oh... I forgot. I forget new things sometimes. I'm sorry."

The noise she makes then is almost a  _tch_ of annoyance, and she waves away his apologies with a distinctly Russian flip of her hand. He wonders why she's choosing to use Russian mannerisms around him - he would never be stupid enough to think anything she does is natural or accidental. She's a world class spy, trained by the elite of the KGB and refined and tempered by SHIELD. Utter control, wrapped in a fearless spirit and a body designed for murder.

Thinking about her reputation as a master manipulator, he's therefore unprepared for the bluntness of her next question.

"I want to fight you again. Will you spar with me?"

She's not afraid of him. Even after everything he's done to her. A shy smile creeps onto his face as he nods. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Links](https://linktr.ee/artofsilvandar) to my online accounts  
> 
> 
> * * *
> 
> Some of my other fics you might enjoy:  
> ["Bratva on Ice"](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1173482) my Otayuri Mafia AU  
> Canon based Kink!Otayuri fans[ click here!](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1144475)  
> Vampire/Nephilim OtaYuri AU[ A Kiss To Remember](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1197235) Winner of NaNoWriMo 2018  
> 


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